#559 To My Uncle’s Brother:

You are such a pain in the ass.

 

I know you don’t agree with my cousin (who is THIRTEEN years old for cripes sake) about how she thinks a person should treat homeless people, but stop stooping to her level.

 

You are such a child,
Snarky

 

#305 To Losing A Little Bit More Of My Faith In Humanity:

So, I’m going to the market for the first time in about two months (living off popcorn and cheese = bad idea), and I’m walking through the dairy/alcohol aisle to get some more cheese.

 

Cheese is delicious.

 

Then, a guy and his four kids turn the corner and stop just ahead of me, where I hear one of the middle children (though all are probably seven and under from the glimpse I got) and ask: “Do you want beer Daddy?”

 

I am sad,
Snarky

 

From the Quote Collection #79

“He’s a cross between a Hogwarts child and a member of Green Day.” -SWM

#95 To Things I Wonder:

Am I the only one who thinks that Kim Kardashian’s nephew is NOT a good looking kid?

 

And he’s at that age where ALL children should be adorable.

 

Blame the father, I guess,
Snarky

 

 

#23 To the idiot two people ahead of me at Starbucks:

Just because you have NO idea what the hell you’re ordering, that does not mean you have a reason to chat up the baristas about ANYTHING else while I am standing, rather impatiently, behind you, waiting to pass on my obnoxiously simple order.

 

And speaking of obnoxiously simple orders, after you HAVE paid, let’s not stand in front of the espresso machine with your lips pressed against it like you’re a child looking into one of those depressing puppy stores in the mall, and thus distract the other baristas.

 

Green tea with half the sweetener should be IMPOSSIBLE to fuck up, and yet, with your distraction, the impossible has apparently been realized.

 

Asshole,
Snarky